Huge Win

I had a huge win on course on the Philadelphia Doctorate Course this evening.

It actually breaks down into two wins, and the versions I wrote at the time, in the courseroom, and game to the supervisor, are the originals, but here’s a tiny piece of a summary of them.

Ron was talking about Serenity of Beingness, and I realized that I can remember being in every tone below that on the Tone Scale, but I couldn’t remember what it was like to be in Tone 40, full-on serenity of beingness.  That’s when I suddenly realized that of course I couldn’t remember it!  Memory is facsimiles stored on ridges!  Serenity of beingness wouldn’t have any facsimiles, because it’s a purely-postulated state.  It cannot be achieved through facsimiles, because those are force, and Tone 40 is forceless theta.

This straightened out a bunch of concepts for me, realizing that it’s purely a postulated state.  That gave me some definite and purposeful insight into how it works and what it’s like to be there.

Then, a few minutes later, back in the lectures, Ron mentioned an auditor having to deal with a universe when dealing with a pc.  That was the OH WOW!! moment.  No, wait, let me make that more correct.  That was the moment of

OH WOW!!!!!!!!

I suddenly understood that a universe is what I’m being.  (It’s not what I am, it’s what I’m being.  And that statement shows where English turns into a train wreck when trying to explain non-MEST concepts.)

A universe.  The convergence of all of my postulates.  My space, my time, my energy, because it’s my postulates.

This means I don’t have to worry about “my case” in terms of engrams, et al, it’s just all about handling my causation.  It’s truly that simple.

Recent wins I’ve had on course and in auditing have shown me where I am as a being.  I’ve gone from hating myself and severe contempt for everything “me”, to knowing where I am as a being, just in the last year.  Those set me up for this.

I’ve known for years where I want to be as a being.  I recently discovered where I am.  NOW I KNOW HOW TO GET THERE FROM HERE!!!  This win is really that important to me!

It took a lot of patience on Ron’s part to get me here, and a lot of help from all of his assistants (staff and Sea Org and field Scientologists of various sorts), and I’m very grateful for that.  But the key thing is, I understand what it means to resolve my causation.  To make it possible to sort out my postulates and, thence, myself as a universe.

This whole shift of viewpoint gives me much greater insight into the dynamics, the tone scale, the ARC triangle and interactions with other universes and beings, and into what a postulate really is.

I can’t really express in English, that crippled language that’s better at it than any other on this planet but still falls so short, what all of this means to me, so suffice to say what I’ve said here.  It’s awesome, even stripped of it’s full majesty and grandeur by this clumsy means of communicating it.

And again

WOW!!!